


'Eatwave

by richardnoelchris



Series: Dondylion Drabbles [2]
Category: Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy
Genre: Comedy, Monologue, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25800793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richardnoelchris/pseuds/richardnoelchris
Summary: There's a heatwave and Dondylion is struggling to cope.
Series: Dondylion Drabbles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764940
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	'Eatwave

**Author's Note:**

> Basically wrote this in a couple of minutes on my phone because I missed writing him and he's good for getting my feelings out. Also it's sweltering where I am at the moment so Dondylion is me in this lol. Hope you enjoy my madness :) <3

'Ello it's really 'ot today haha. I am sweating haha suh-wet-ting haha. I've got sweat where sweat should not be. Earlier they gave me an ice lollie haha it looked a bit like a rocket haha you know them ones? Haha fuckin rocket lollies. I wouldn't mind riding a rocket out of 'ere out a this zoo. Oh David your 'air's melting oh no haha what you gone and done that for? Ohhhhhh I wish I 'ad a fan, nice big whirly one on the roof. What're they called? Ceiling fans haha ceiling fans haha them. Wish I 'ad one. 

'Ere I tried to eat earlier but the chocolate melted all over me fingas eurgh. I looked like a chocolate bandit haha. That's a good tune that innit? Haha chocolate bandit, caught braahn 'anded. Haha 'ere John! YOU 'EAR MY SONG! haha e's jealous cos 'e ain't done one ooohhhhh you wait aha it'll be in the charts one day then you can suck it John haha oohhhh chocolate bandit haha well catchy i'm like Elton John but without a piano haha. 

Tried to learn piano once but me fingers are too big for the keys ha. David taught me but I kept screwing up 'ventually I said 'I can't do it Dave haha I can't.' Then I threw me 'ula 'oops, what a waste of a perfectly good meal, salt and vinegar as well I couldda 'ad those and pretended I was in the chippy haha AAAAAA YOU BASTARDS TURN ON THE AC YOU PRICKS. I'M DYING IN 'ERE!

You know what I'd love? A dip in a fuckin pool hehe and I know you're goin' 'aren't cats afraid a water an' that?' but I ain't at least I fink I ain't, I've never been in a pool to be honest, closest I've been to a swimming pool is when I lick me self to wash haha like that haha see just like that haha like Tommy Cooper haha.

I just wan't some lemonade really.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this please leave me a comment and some kudos. :) x


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